In the Middle of Nothing

I've observed that one way to peace is to let judgement fall away. In my life I've read many books. Their advice, instructions or suggestions have come together recently in a manner that I might describe as offering keys. Keys that unlock pieces to nothing. And when it happens, I hover there in peace.

I am a novice to this and, amazed, I observe how quickly it happens now. Not for long but it happens. I'm a newcomer still after twenty plus years of reading and listening and moving in it -- and I might add that my years are nearing the double of twenty. I don't know much. I don't have all the answers. I am limited. Ha ha! And even my need to write down such things and define who I am or am not reveals how I yet cling in everyday life to judgements. And see how language and vocabulary are what they are!? Foolishness to even write down the little I know or perhaps don't know. Truly it changes as soon as a name is put to it and it is lost to be found again when words fall away.

That impulse to define, oh, how quick it is! And already I am two steps behind myself. The ego wants to know it all and own it and, as Osho says, the mind is clever. The ego will grab it and cry, "Aha! How wonderful this is. How lovely. What a prize, what bliss. Look at me observing what I am doing right now." And it falls away. And the ego will create rituals to find it again, thinking, "Well, I did this, and then I did that, and I think it was easier when I was walking by a lake. Oh, I must find a tree for the moment to come again!" And at that point, so far away from the center, one might as well go home and watch tv.

But when the ego is quiet, the keys come together and unlock a little bit of nothing. Hovering in the middle. Poised. Hovering. Between breaths. Between discernments. Between extremes. Between impulses toward judgement and paths to anger or joy. I fall away.